Being a true and accurate recording of the mind of one Kiva Ograddam, Dwarven alchemist.
<Note from archivists – once again the memory crystals appear to have several gaps. These have been filled as well as possible, and are indicated as such, however they should be treated as potentially incorrect.>
Sareneth, nice and warm. Off to Tiahama, wheee. Mountains. Wonder if we can send Tefiya into the mines, bet she’d squish the things in there, then we could take over again. She’s good at cleaning things out. Lady Almah sure has added to the guards around here, will be nice to get away. Qusai’s walking funny, I should make him a cream for that, shouldn’t get involved with harpies.
Mountains, mountains. That one’s pale mountain, over there’s the lake, why’s everyone so slow. Tefya really should take off her armour. Not sure it comes off to be honest. It must do. But I’ve never seen her without it. Oooh flowers. Oops, should be looking for gnolls.
Tillous spotted something. Oh haha, stupid human. Babboons. Right. Erk. There’s definitely something there. No more monkeys! *twitch* Oh dear. Oh dear. Qusai can shoot two at once! Tefya won’t let him, she’s mean. Oooh, shiny rock. She likes me! Waaaaaait a minute, is this a distraction? Sure is pretty. Underneath the shiiiiiiield la la la. Not sure this’ll distract them but I don’t know monkeys.
Picnic spot, um…. ooh look a weevil. Here’ll do! Tillous is putting the tent up. Nap time? Should really get out of the sun for that, silly human.
Urf, I don’t think we’ll make it to town. Now I have to sleep with them all. In the tent, not… ew. Maybe I should take first watch then I can get the best sleep. Oh Torag one of them’s snoring already. Maybe I should wake Tefya. I’m bored. Boredboredbored. Going to go kick Tefiya. Sleep time!
Tefya lights Rachel and spots tracks almost immediately, a large group of something had passed in the night and not been noticed. Something with lizard feet, how on earth could that have been missed? There’re at least 3, might be as many as 5, all heading towards Kelmarane. At least things are quiet again.
Tillous’ watch passes uneventfully.
Qusai’s watch doesn’t start well, first unable to wake up and then disbelieving about the lizard men. His inspection of the tracks reveals… yes, definitely lizard men.
Ugh, morning. Why do we even have mornings, they’re so early. Qusai’s being eaten by the tent. Is that even possible? Could burn him out, but then the others would be mad at me. Oh okay Tefya’s got it. Nope, now she’s tangled too. Tillous has got it. He just touched it and it fell apart. Wonder if he can teach me that trick.
Lots of walking, but we’re going well. This is fun! Nothing bad at all, just lots of mountains and goats! Oh, we must be here. Really? Tefya baaaed at them. And they think I’m strange! Oh hey another small person! Oh… nope, a child. Bah. It ran away from Tefya. Hahahahaha. Don’t tell them who we are. Oh great now they think we’re special and we have to go see the mayor. Like that ever ends well. At least this woman’s talking about beds. A real bed. Tefya’s getting all religious again. Booooring.
That man has crazy eyebrows! Wow! Don’t stare, don’t stare, don’t stare. He’s a bunny? Oh, maybe he means his name. I think Tefya has a headache. Something’s been killing the goats, but it’s not gnolls. Do babboons eat goats? Hey another bunny! She’s TALL!! And huggy… ew. Ick ick ick I’m covered in human. These people are seriously obsessed with goats. But if they pay I guess we could look after them for one night. Good Fart! Wow! Tefya has a new talent.
For the Goats! No, that sucks as a war cry.
We definitely need to get some goat pelts and pretend to be goats. Okay the others aren’t really up for it, but it makes the most sense! Humans. Why is Qusai flirting with the tall woman. Maybe that’s a thing with humans.
These village people dress very strangely. And that native dance… interesting. Didn’t think they’d have a navy up here, but apparently some of them are in it.
Qusai’s not sharing the hurt with us. If he gets eaten I’m not saving him! He lived!
Oh well we have a map now. This guy really loves his goats. No wonder his wife’s a bit weird.
Why don’t they want to dress us? Ugh, if they die I’m not carrying them back to town. I’m going to go get a hide. Not stealing if you pay for it, I’ll leave them a gold and they’ll be fine. To the cave! Burned patch looks like snakes. Weird. Oooh, I bet it’s a dragon! I always wanted to see a dragon. Oh wait, maybe Empanadas. No those are pies. Something like that. Big snakey fire things.
Windy up here. Definitely steam coming from the cavern though, really sulphury. Wish I could remember what those snakey things are called. Oooh it’s hot in here. Ick. Blue flames again, weird. And how is that table not burning. Wait… what was that? It wasn’t me!! What is that thing? It’s cute! His name’s… Andro Granax. He’s seneschal of the coils. Whatever that means. I think that makes him a stone Garavel. Heh. Why doesn’t he speak common. I guess when you’re made of stone you mumble a lot. Ericky Gourana didn’t like perfume. Seriously what’s with the names, they’re stranger than humans. Goat pelt! Nope. He wants a shiny thing! Tefya’s rock!! Wow, they’re eating it. That was my rock. I wonder if Tefya has any more. We’re to talk to Lesha, okay we can do that. Maybe. Oh but of course there’re more guards. Salamanders! That’s the firey things! And we need to avoid Thracia. Seriously I’m confused now.
Down the corridor, Tillous walked into a wall. Hehehehe. Oh wow, that cauldron decoration looks almost real. Stinky though. Tefya can do the talking this time, I sorted out Garavax or whatever his name was. Ooops, one of them just tried tried to stab Tefya. Guess we know they’re hostile. TILLOUS JUMPED THE CAULDRON!! Oh yeah, hit the thing. Um… missed it. Meh. That jump though! Why can’t anyone hit these things. Stoopid wriggly things. Tip the cauldron. OWOWOWOWOW Stupid idea! Heeheehee that one fell over right at Qusai’s feet. Can’t miss from there! Owie! Owie! Owie! Enough with the cauldron already! When did Tempest get frosty??
Tefya says there’s two more, but she won’t make Tempest all frosty again. Ugh too hot. We could all cluster round her sword but noooooooo. Paladins!
For the goats! Seriously, need a better war cry.
Okay fire helps fire things, you knew that… idiot. At least Qusai can kill them. OWWWWW Burny! Burny! Tillous chopped it’s head clean off!! My hero!
Something’s hissing, further down the corridor. Tefya thinks it isn’t friendly. I could have told her that! Oh Torag my neck hurts.